# Tooting Your Horn Without Bothering The Neighbors

![](https://3199674022-files.gitbook.io/~/files/v0/b/gitbook-legacy-files/o/assets%2F-M3Lh07OCCTO411U1jk9%2F-MOptW2Y91q15zhyS3US%2F-MOpuISVR_KLVKtRPXuB%2Flucas-lenzi-zeT_i6av9rU-unsplash.jpg?alt=media\&token=3ad8b301-8e48-456e-ae82-6f775e3e3a1e)

Nick asked the following question on the last [Loveawake blog](https://blog.loveawake.com) post.

> *This article brought up a question, and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only guy out there who does this. Well, at least I hope not.*
>
> *Anyway, whenever I try to write anything about myself, I find it hard to put down direct positive facts. It’s not entirely a self-esteem issue, it just seems that anytime I proof something positive about myself, it comes off as exceedingly arrogant, and I cut it. So…any short and sweet advice for us geek guys who want to sell ourselves but are too concerned about coming off as an incarnation of bloated hubris?*[<br>](http://web.archive.org/web/20090819035933/http://geeksdreamgirl.com/2008/04/20/mistakes-geeks-make-in-online-dating-profiles-verbosity/)

#### He says:

Well, Nick, that’s where having a writer on your side will help!

Let me find the profile of someone who is the “*incarnation of bloated hubris*” and show you how he could market himself better. Sometimes it helps to see things from the other side of the coin.

(*Hint: The best way to find these people is to search for the* [*Loveawake*](https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/Norway-dating-service.html?gender=male) *“successful”.*)

#### **This guy is such a good/bad example that I’m going to post his whole profile:**

> **Headline:&#x20;*****I am a great catch with a lot to offer that is looking for a great catch with a lot to offer.***
>
> *If I were described by people who knew me best, they would describe me as someone who is intelligent, attractive, ambitious, sweet, humerous* \[sic]*, with a passion for life. I am someone you can be proud to take home to your mother. I am very secure in my life now, and my hardwork* \[sic] *has made me very successful.*
>
> *I grew up in \_\_\_\_\_. I went to college at the University of \_\_\_\_\_\_, where I recieved* \[sic] *my Bachelors in Finance and Management. I stayed there and went to Law School. I graduated in 2002, and I moved back to \_\_\_\_\_\_\_. I have lived here ever since. I work hard, but I still make time for fun. I am not a health nut, but I do take great care of myself. I work out three times a week, and I try to eat fairly healthy.*
>
> *I am looking for someone who is sweet, intelligent, cute, somewhat grounded, with similar interests to me. I am very straight forward, and I don’t like to play childish games. Life is too short for that.*
>
> *I do believe that there are good quality people that you can meet online, and I am an example of one of them.*

Wow, women must be falling all over him. Wait, let me get a towel so I wipe off all this sarcasm. It’s dripping off me. The sad thing? He’s not a bad looking guy. Pretty cute, actually

[Writing a good profile](https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/08/28/writing-a-knockout-about-me-section-in-a-dating-profile/) is a lot like writing a resume and cover letter for a job. You need to tout your strengths. **This might be the only chance you get to make a good impression on the person responsible for hiring you.**

However, there is a delicate balance between touting strengths and looking far too self-important. Too little tooting and you look boring or unqualified. Too much tooting and you look like an ass.

I don’t know this guy, so I’ll be taking some liberties with the facts.

#### Here’s how I’d re-write his profile:

> ***Headline: Runner seeks girl for a marathon of movie watching***
>
> *I am grateful to be at the point in my life where I have stability in terms of my career and finances. No more salad days, here! (Those days were pretty fun, though!) I work as a lawyer, specifically in real estate law because I love helping people feel confident when purchasing a new home. When I’m not working, I enjoy working out at the gym and running on the nature trails near my house. Last week, I ran in shorts! Spring is here!*
>
> *My perfect match would love to join me on a run (or even a walk – it’s been a while since I slowed down). She loves learning new things and would be up for a game of chess or snuggling up and watching all six Star Wars movies back to back on a rainy Sunday. (Bonus points if you hate Jar-Jar as much as I do.) Which movie is your favorite? I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours!*

#### Easy Advice

* You don’t need to list as many things about yourself as you think.
  * Stick to a few points about yourself that you think make you unique or interesting.
* Find a way to show things rather than say them.
  * Instead of “*I am rich and successful*“, say “*I am grateful to be at the point in my life where I have stability in terms of my career and finances.”*
* Give the girl at least a few ways of seeing herself as fitting in to your life.
* Update frequently – put in a line about the current season. This lets the ladies know that you are actively involved in your search for love.
* Be confident about your strengths – there is no bigger turn-off than a guy who is always down on himself and unable to voice what’s great about him… and geek guys have so many things that are great about them!!